Where to start?

Item I:
On the Brown debacle in Massachusetts: the man was elected through the corrupt shenanigans of the press, which reported polls without context and elevated Coakley's deficits to the level of near-criminality while ignoring Brown's wingnuttery, courting of public violence, and nude (!) Cosmo spread. In fact, I saw in the Huffington Post a poll: is the newest Senator also the hottest? Oh, my sweet God. NO, NO, NO!

Fuck the press. Yes, even you, HuffPo.

Item II:
On the loss of the 60th Democratic Senatorial vote: we never had 60! If we had, we'd have gotten a health care reform package through the Senate in the first week! We never had the magic 60 because even when the god-damned Blue Dogs could be persuaded to act in the country's interest, we had that fucking prima donna Lieberman to contend with. So nothing's changed. Naturally, this doesn't prevent the press from creating a narrative in which the Democrats are BIG, BIG, BIG losers.

Fuck Joe Lieberman. Fuck conservatives - especially the Democratic variety. Fuck the press - again.

Item III:
The collapse of Democratic spines from the Oval Office downwards: yup, they're collapsing, sure enough.

Fuck the Democrats. If you can't find your god-damned balls and take charge, then you ARE losers!

Item IV:
The apparently-imminent death of health care reform due to Items I, II, and III: Why? Because we have to bow to public opinion as demonstrated through the stupidity of Massachusetts voters?

Fuck Massachusetts! Pass the god-damned Senate bill through the House and fix all the budget issues in reconciliation. And while you're at it, freeze out the fucking Republicans!

Item V:
The Supreme Court's handing of ultimate power to corporations: Mother of God, people, what has this court become, a wholly-owned subsidiary of NewsCorp? This is the most corrupt and frankly stupid decision to come down in a long, long time.

Welcome, facism. The Supreme Court likes the way you think.

This court's majority is peopled not by great legal minds but by mental midgets, and in this spirit, I will henceforth refer to them as the cartoon villains they've proven to be: Snarly Thomas, Sleazy Scalia, Smirky Roberts, Dopey Alito, and Farty Kennedy. Fuck you all, you god-damned bastards. (And while we're at it, Sandra Day O'Connor deserves zero respect as a retired denizen of the court. She could have prevented the debacle of the 2000 election and she didn't because she wanted a Republican in office so she could retire. Bitch. Undeserving, partisan, incompetent bitch.)

Also, fuck the Cheney/Bush administration, and the Democratic caucus which should have filibustered Roberts and Alito. And fuck the press, just for good measure.